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I'm so glad I'm not a hipster...

I love fan-girling over things I enjoy, even if it is mainstream...i.e. Adam Levine, NSYNC and even ...GASP....a song on the top 40 radio charts...

I don't ironically wear cardigans and scarves, I wear them with an outfit because I am cold and take them off when I am not cold.

I could make my own hummus, but Trader Joe's has it ready to go so I'll just buy it there and save time so I have more time to watch TV...Yes I own a TV and I pay for cable...

I have a full time job...most of the hipsters I know in their late twenties are waitressing (actress/writer/musician) at an odd new wave restaurant that is vegan or living with their parents/lovers...they say they don't want to work FOR THE MAN and their next project is the NEXT BIG THING, yet they constantly make me pay for their beers because they can't afford it but they always seem to afford an iphone...

I wear prescription glasses to read, not just to look super cool, I like to think, I am the cool they aspire to be, and I don't even try...

My hair is clean and styled and not messed up in a mop of mousy crap waves...or a choppy random short cut that makes no sense...

I have relationships with titles, boundaries and milestones and do not allude to the casual.  I'm never just "hanging out" with someone, I don't "fuck my friends" and I don't try to be "cool enough" for my partner, I'm just myself.

I live Mid city to West-side which means I'm 20 minutes from anywhere in LA, not stuck in either east or west bank.  I can go to the beach or downtown without that much complaining.

I don't have tattoos, my body is a temple...in this way I don't need to tell the world with a tattoo that my body is a temple...

I eat meat.....YUMMMY COWS!

I don't smoke weed to feel normal or relaxed.

I avoid all things with birds or sparrows, and tan oxfords, and fascinators and MODCLOTH...

I don't sit alone in my room and wonder what things mean, I go out and discover for myself, what the world has to offer.

I can drink a craft beer and eat a nice meal, without Instagramming it... (questionable but really, I'm getting better)

If you like something I don't I won't make you feel like crap about it, or tell you I knew about a band a long ass time ago...

I don't blame the government for all my problems, or wish it would solve the ones I have...

I don't smoke, do coke or "make an appearance" at popular places just to make sure people know I am busy and fun.

I will never attend a Vegan or Vegetarian Thanksgiving....EVER

I by no means want to alienate anyone in the article, but I can assert with pride that I am in no way a hipster.  I think I tried it once to fit in with the crowd, but it is not me at all.  I follow the rules and enjoy authority figures and employ self discipline.  I feel I am becoming more fiscally responsible and live for more than just this moment.  I abhor music festivals and hallucinogenic drugs because life is so much more beautiful the way it is.  I don't need to escape from myself or my friends, and I frankly have outgrown the people who do.

So I spring forth to my late twenties with pride and say bring it on!




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