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5 Things to Stop Worrying About at 25

Warning: Adult subject matter and language...obvi xo, Alexinhwood


Getting Married - 1
Lezbehonest...you've been planning Your Big Day since you were 5.  You swore that like your parents who were hip and young in the 80's, you'd be married by 22 and living on your own in a house/apartment/mobile home. Also you've played MASH soo many times of course you're going to marry your crush right out of high school in that taffeta gown and Lil' Bestie will be your Maid of Honor.  BUT Thanks to the economy, college debt and a declining job market we got to live at home a little longer and looked a little bit more miserable and less cool to the opposite sex.  I had to move out of my old lady's house (my 75 yr old Scottish Roommate who was awesome) because I legit couldn't bring a guy there or hang out really at all in the 1970's decor-ed "sitting room" that didn't have a TV and I ain't bringing a date to "hang out" in my bedroom because you know it wasn't a dorm and bedrooms are for homework, sleeping and boning and that's pretty much about it. So I mean in lieu of getting married, 2012 twenty-somethings shouldn't have to worry about getting hitched.  Focus on your job (and keeping it) and making sure you are on your feet and you know occasionally go out to Happy Hour with friends.  If you're the settling down type (one with a BF) hang in, do yo thang but that doesn't mean you have to rush into Mr and Mrs because you're 25.  Because if Russell Brand and Katy Perry who were totes in love and Seal and Heidi Klum who were all "kiss from a rose" in love can't make it? THEN WHO ARE WE TO TRY?  All joking aside, there's no timeline for when to get married.  I'm very much against the whole...its the next step issue.  Just because you've made it three years doesn't mean you, he or she is going to be an amazing husband/wife/lover/caregiver for 60 years.  It means it works for now and if you're dying to make the leap (They are sooo the one) sure go for it...but if you're seriously thinking OH EM GEE I'm 25 and I'm not married and all my friends on Facebook are married (they aren't) I'm the only one and I'm going to be alone forever aaahhhh....STOP IT! Be a grown-up! Be an independent and know yourself very clearly BEFORE you join bank accounts and share your futures together.  Some you may have gotten married already, THEN CONGRATS on LOCKING THAT SHIT DOWN.  For everyone else, be aware of the fact that people find love/make big decisions at different times and just because that isn't YOU RIGHT NOW and you're 25 doesn't mean you are doing something wrong or can't keep up.  Be you and I'm sure you'll get through, just don't rush into marriage because you think you HAVE TO.

Having Babies - 2
Some friends of yours are having bebes (beh-bez) already. Half of them are married. Yikes! Now if you're like me then you're thinking, THANK GOD THAT'S NOT ME! However a woman at 30 has like 17% chance of conceiving and the percentage decreases each year we age. It makes sense that women feel the proverbial  ticking clock around all of our necks, as it is human nature to make more of us...(oh God there's already 7 billion, please wear a condom/pull out/get on BC)  So if you're not Mormon and maybe are a Cafeteria Catholic like me (waited as long as you could/or fell in love in college) and you enjoy boning before you're married know the risks of maybe HAVING A BABY...wooo!  If you do not want to have a child now, protect yourself...however if you feel like OMG I'm running out of time to be married and have kids at the appropriate age so me and all my friends can have kids the same age and have play dates so maybe I should stop taking my Birth Control so I'll get knocked up and make my boyfriend marry me and all will be wonderful! Please don't be this girl.  I know we are all smarter than that, but in all seriousness...even if you ARE MARRIED and like want a baby stat! Your time will come, don't lay awake wishing for fertilization...our bodies work with us and against us and added stress doesn't help.  While Facebook was AMAZING for planning parties in COLLEGE and TERRIBLE now that 13 year-olds are on it, we do know WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE's EVERYTHING and I guarantee you that I didn't want to see your ultrasound photos...So don't let others people lives make you feel differently about your own.  You'll do number 1 (Getting Married) when you are damn well ready and hopefully if life happens in order for you Number 2 (Having Babies) won't be too far behind.  But you're 25 so STOP WORRYING about it! K kewl. Now go back to work and bring home some bacon so that you can go home and bang your boyfriend (vibrator) because you can...on the couch...because you don't have kids! :D

Being Debt Free - 3
Oh hello fellow college graduate with a negative net worth! Nice to meet you! Everyone has got debt, especially us college grads!  While this is true, try your darnedest not to create more BUT know that your $30 K loan is now $46 K and YOU'RE responsible for it. This surely is a very easy thing to worry about and become supremely overwhelmed (Just saying supreme reminds me of Taco Bell. but I can't afford it) I digress... Stress can be avoided or lessened if you take action to do so like creating a budget!! My friends swore by it and it legit has kept me in check for at least two whole years.  I know when my due dates are, I know when I have money and when I don't and I have to adjust some social habits to accommodate but you know what IT HELPS ME CALM THE EFF DOWN...whereas I used to be like OMG I have like no idea if i have any money I'll just charge it so i don't overdraft haahaha heehehehe oh shit I owe so much money why did I do that now I have to not go anywhere or eat for 6 months.  :( Yay budgets and yay for being in control of spending because it's important when each paycheck disappears to rent, insurance and all those college loans.  Yes you will wake-up tomorrow and your debt will still be there.  But you signed the papers and you finished college...the responsibility isn't in the hands of the government...it's your deal.  So keep the job for now and do your best because you wont miraculously pay it off tomorrow.  No use in fretting or worrying about a 30 yr problem that EVERYONE ELSE HAS TOO!  We're all in this TOGETHER :D  Now if only I can start SAVING money...that's a whole other issue...


Finding THE Job - 4
Degree(s): Check...Debt: Check...Mediocre Job: Check...So you made it out okay and you're paying your bills and you do the 9-5 or 3 other part-time jobs.  You're 25 and thinking OMG I could really use health insurance, when am I going to get a grown up job? Or maybe you have a super cool (lame) desk job where your uncle got you the job and you're overqualified but if keeps you off your parents couch so you're kinda okay.  Yes I know what that's like and you know what, its okay to be wondering what's next?  Nobody wants to be stuck and definitely NOT YOU! Yes you, you good-looking put-together sonofabitch! You deserve to be noticed that you turned that spreadsheet in time and you took on extra shift and made Matt Damon's coffee and you totally rocked that meeting in that Mustache Tie...While all this is awesome and true, you still get paid the same and nothing seems to change and at 25 you are thinking Mark Zuckerberg really had it good by 19 even if he really has no REAL FRIENDS.  But the thing is you still have time to get on your feet.  All hope is not lost.   Let's pray you don't live at home, but if you do now's probably the time to get up and at-em as they say to start getting to where you'd like to be.  If you're rocking the job, find out what's possible down the long run and really use your resources and contacts.  Take a risk! it doesn't stop here! Most people don't usually get on top of their shit until 27-34.  So that doesn't mean put off the hard work and be lazy, it means if you want success you have to go for it!  That means maybe giving up the comfort zone and taking a risk too so that other options can open up and not just sitting and complaining about how your job/life/lack of change sucks.  We're only 25!! Our whole lives are ahead of us! So be happy you can pay your billz for now and know "Change is Gonna Come" but you also have to make it so.

Who am I? - 5
Twenties are known for finding yourself.  I have triumphantly made it half way (woooo!) but I feel so overwhelmed by the roles I THINK I should be playing and the PERSON I THINK I'm supposed to be.  Concentrating on all those worries has only taken me out of my experiences and left me in a cloudy depression, milling and ruminating about how I am not me, and what does it all mean... BLEH!  Well I know for a fact that my parents never assumed they'd break up or that both of their second marriages would break up, but life is dark and twisty that way.  They made me and here I am, probably asking the same asinine questions they asked themselves except they were married to each other and had a baby at my age!! Thinking this automatically makes me feel a little under accomplished but also amazingly BETTER in the sense that I am proud of my autonomy, my ability to live on my own in a different city and right now without a boyfriend and paying for my own stuff.  While I'm finally secure in clothing, bathing and feeding myself without asking for permission, I'm left to think about all the crap, my purpose and what it all means.  Mainly I've spent so much time comparing my abilities/successes to others' but I know for a fact that no one can be a better me than me.  I will spend my whole life searching for answers, love, acceptance and while our Twenties leave us still sensitive and new to the game, it only means each experience lays new groundwork for what is to come and teaches us how to better handle it next time.  I am working hard at trying to not control everything (because I can't obviously anyway).  I just want to understand it all and know it all and I want to prevent mistakes...So if you're in the same (different/similar) boat then you might understand the quest that hopefully results in self love, the kind that helps you love others better as well.  This doesn't happen overnight but this path to self-discovery will help you find things about yourself along the way and you'll have to accept that that is who you are.  You'll be disappointed, heartbroken, amazed, sad, elated, crushed, abandoned, wasted...all of it.  As you age you'll care less and less about all the small things that seemed like a such a big deal.  Love and relationships will probably alter your view of yourself but don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not enough. You ARE! We all will make many mistakes and probably make bad choices but they'll still be our choices and they'll prepare us for the next trial.  So own it, own the time you have to yourself before you have to do 1,2,3 and 4.  Find out what you want and stick to it! Love yourself and the journey but don't stay up late worrying about it because by then you're 20s will be gone. Enjoy the ride my friends...I'm coming with ya!

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