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Showing posts from October 24, 2010

No Vote Alex

I feel a little bit ashamed.  Maybe embarrassed.  I always considered myself someone who really cares about what goes on with government, enough to be a Republican and enough to be not just someone that sits on the sidelines and complains about regulation and taxes.  I for one love being able to vote and express my choices on the ballet every 2-4 years or so.  But this year I have failed my own voice by not registering.  It did sneak up on me and I'm not going to a university where then, I was constantly berated to Rock The Vote.  But I do feel a little left out now and honestly, ashamed.  I'm an adult.  I could've put it on my calendar or put a note in my blackberry to register so come Nov. 2nd I'd be ok.  But I didn't.  And now in this sorry and ridiculous run for governor of California I can't complain about what a shitshow it will be either way.  I cannot express how I feel about education or gay marriage or legalizing marijuana.  I can't vote so I can …

before the ash

If I knew what to say
I'd say it
If I knew what to do
I'd do it
If I knew anything at all
I'd be able to fall
and let myself love you
and enjoy it.

If I knew how to stop
I would
I'd give it all to you
if I could.
But set in my ways
cant attach these days
letting go, I should

But loving you is just too good
I can't get stop, won't stop
a girl charmed and then woo'd
give me something bad to hate
So I can change my mind and escape.

too much to fall and hurt
too much to see it burn
not waiting to see if you're mine
to get told I'm not the one
to be told I'm not the one
I'm not strong enough.
I can't do that this time.

But loving you is just too good.
I can't stop, I won't stop
a girl charmed and then woo'd
give me something bad to hate
So I can prevent the break

is it all possible to have you
now until the end
or are these just thoughts
of someone in love
hating herself
for letting her heart to hold you

caring

To care less
would make me non existent.
for so much of what drives me
are the feelings and inspirations
that propel me to do what I must
my heart's rhythms are often broken
by the discordance of what should be
and what is to too hard to control
if i look up to the stars for guidence
and hear nothing and no one

who is here to say that I'm ok.
to be so aware of myself and to care
too much about others and their plight
how do I let go of the world's problems
maybe its easier to tackle theirs than to solve my own
but my heart breaks all the time
with lonliness and a sense of angst
that forbids me to feel free of stress
because there's always something to obsess over
and if I think about it long enough I might discover
some new wisdom and understanding.
some sense of calm in knowing enough
some sense of control over a potential outcome
how so I let go of wanting so much
how do I let other people handle themselves
so I can fully work on me
and how do I not take myself too…