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Showing posts from April 11, 2010

BIG TIME RUSH

Sometimes I get a good opportunity.  And sometimes, most times I let them pass by.  Why, you ask?  Because I suck.  Really I do.  I realllly suck.  I got a message offering me a place on the nickelodeon show, Big Time Rush, and my first instinct was to make some sort of excuse why I couldn't do it.  It's lame actually, why I am always turning things down, when what I want more than anything in the world is to act and sing and be on TV.  Honestly if my friend hadn't told me to do it, I wouldn't have.  So anyways I got over the fear and rearranged my work schedule and did it.  I got two days of work and it was amazing!! I met new friends and got to spend time on the Paramount lot and at the Avalon in Hollywood.  I truly needed that kick in the butt because it reminded me of what performing was about and that it is really where I belong.  I made some new friends and we spoke about plays, literature and where's the cheapest place to live.  It just really felt good to b…

When you change...

When you change, some notice, some don't.  Sometimes you're the only one. But when you grow up, not everything goes towards what you imagined. You can only do so much to control your surroundings or what happens to you.  Lately I have been stressing about alot of things I can't control.  I really have liked feeling blah, to the point where I don't get nervous or care as much or feel anything at all.  However, not caring has turned into over-caring.  Not sure how that works but it happens and it happened to me. 

I have grown and evolved since we spoke last.  I've traveled new paths and lets some things go.  I have worked hard to find more about myself and why I do and think and want the things I do.  I have been searching for direction and peace and surrounding myself with inspirations.  I am looking for a new apartment and trying to grow up from where I'm at. 

One thing that seems the same however is a certain presence in my life.  I need to move on for real.…