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Me into Me

I dared to be alone
I've dared to even try
to be there for myself
and not sit and cry
and though it has been hard
to get up, go and do
everything I said I would
and stay to myself, true

and I have been numb
to everything I've seen
don't let anyone etch away
the me that I am being.
And each day I worked to separate
not need or try or assume or force
that anyone cares at all
or will feel the pain or even remorse
for the harsh things they do and say
when the big leagues come out to play
while I'm here guarded and protected
from those simple evil minds.

no one can touch me
no one can bring me down
except what it this tiny light
one I've longed for since but
continue to push and fight
why after all this time
does it creep into me
and dwell and stay
and now when I needed no one
I'm longing they see me that way

Where was it when it changed
from a stranger to man I craved
and suddenly needing someone, I caved
and now vulnerable again.
Is this the plight of every woman
and is being numb for the birds
when love is better than loving none
actions better than words.
but sometimes hearing how they feel
will fill u up and help you to see
if they are in it and if they are the man
you need and want them to be.

After needing nothing, I thought I was free
now back to the start, crying but singing faithfully
through dried tears come lessons learned
wars fought and battles won
internal, external existential liason
fill me with some awe inspiring message
that in myself I can have faith and that
with my own heart, slightly pinned to my shoulder
wont be damaged too much from the love I am after...

I've tried not to break down
I've worked to feel nothing
I've blocked out so much of who I was
no more tears or sadness
no more letters of loss
yet after all the no's
yes happened again
a once very familiar friend
after all this pain
after the nothing

that ensued
to you my dear, my heart is glued.
not sure what to do now
so much I haven't said
what do u want from me?
do u need me, like i need you too.
silly I ask now when all I had wanted
was to be free
and now because of you
I'm sighing and dreaming faithfully...
are you a curse or this years saving grace
to bring me back to Alexandria
to take that other girl's place.
I've missed her joyous laugh and dedicated
dreams. a girl now a woman
with some life now, somewhat jaded.
But she will shine, if you love her
if you do, bring her back to earth now
bring her back to you.
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