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Sometimes I get a good opportunity.  And sometimes, most times I let them pass by.  Why, you ask?  Because I suck.  Really I do.  I realllly suck.  I got a message offering me a place on the nickelodeon show, Big Time Rush, and my first instinct was to make some sort of excuse why I couldn't do it.  It's lame actually, why I am always turning things down, when what I want more than anything in the world is to act and sing and be on TV.  Honestly if my friend hadn't told me to do it, I wouldn't have.  So anyways I got over the fear and rearranged my work schedule and did it.  I got two days of work and it was amazing!! I met new friends and got to spend time on the Paramount lot and at the Avalon in Hollywood.  I truly needed that kick in the butt because it reminded me of what performing was about and that it is really where I belong.  I made some new friends and we spoke about plays, literature and where's the cheapest place to live.  It just really felt good to be in that environment.  Not only that the BTR boys were really awesome.  I felt like they really included us into the shoot and they weren't divas at all.  All in all it was an amazing two days of shooting and it makes me consider what could be possible if I did that full time.  I love my job really and the safety it provides me right now, but I also need to move forward and think of what I'm in LA for in the first place.  THIS BUSINESS.  I'm not here to stand and watch my friends pass me up, I'm here to do it, be and love it.  It takes alot of work and energy and sometimes I feel like I don't have it, what it takes to last, pull through, but I just think I need to start performing more and reminding myself what I am capable of.  I can do this.  I can be what I dreamed.  I will sing and dance my way to where I need to be.  Think happy thoughts, Alexandria and live the life you've imagined.  Keep your eye out for me in MOSH PIT on BIG TIME RUSH season 1 FINALE!!! Watch their show, it's really cute and they are cute!!!

Me and Logan
You see me here going "eeeeee"
screen grabs

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