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Good v. Evil

There are many evils in the world that tempt us everyday!.  This is just common knowlegde.  Without evil, how would we value the good?  How could we separate it unless we judged the degree of good in our lives, based on the lack or surplus of it.  Everyone sees evil in different shapes and sizes and what may be one person's serpent could be another's miracle.  But being raised in the Catholic tradition since birth, certain evils seem to have stayed steadfast as such my whole life.  But in the process of maturation and seeing the world through new eyes, those of an adult I can only question what now, is good or evil.

Evil could be debt, liars, the government as it is now run, socialism, carbs and all sorts of silly things that affect my life. 

But one good evil thing about my life is alcohol.  What is so good about it anyway.  I really couldn't tell you anything good about it at all except for my joy and enthusiasm for the art of beer and all it's many tastes.  It seems to be at the center of college, rebellion, escaping pain, suffering, problems.  And usually does not go without consequence.  With the amount of DUI-related deaths, alcohol abuse/overdose deaths and mistreatment/abuse of this legal DRUG substance, many lives or almost all lives are affected by alcohol and you think we would've learned by now.

I know why I drank as a freshman in college for the first time, everyone else was doing it.  I wasn't going to over do it, but gosh darnit at a new school, I was at least going to fit in.  If i said no, I might be labeled as a religious freak or just downright prude, and that's the last thing I wanted.  I also wanted to make it easier to talk to people, ease some of the anxiety.  Moving away from home, I wanted a family and I made one and many drinking buddies.  It wasn't my oNLY activity, just the main one.  And I never felt all that guilty about it. I felt like I was finally doing what I wanted to do without parental supervision.

This continued all four years of college.  Every weekend for the last 5 years now, and after turning 21, more often, drinking.  It wasn;t always about getting drunk or wasted, it was about letting go, letting the night take its course.  In college it's kind of about who can outdo the other person with a better party/drinking/hookup story. 

But my sophomore year as I tried to drown out some pain breakup I ended up drinking too much one night.  If those friends did not know how to help.  I would've had a $5000 ambulance ride to Daniel Freidman's.  Something I know my parents would not be proud of.  This remains one of the most terrifying points in my life and led me to a depression of sorts.  I don't remember anything about that night.  I can only gather from my friends who never want to talk about it.  All I CAN say is that I am lucky to be alive and I gave them quite a scare.  It was purely accidental.  But nevertheless, alcohol is a dangerous drug and whenever you are sad about something, DO NOT DRINK.  It only makes it worse. 

I cannot say however, that I did not have fun, or still do not have fun.  I have a great time!!  I am not miserable now, I am not an alcoholic.  But when I think about those college years and how silly I was then, alcohol definitely caused many things that probably would have never happened good and bad.  I cannot even count the hangovers, screaming fights outside the dorm with my boyfriend friend, friends I lost and the people I kissed.  This all bringing me to who I am today.  I guess thats only as far as I have rebelled.  I have never had permiscious sex, ended up in jail, or vandalized anything I havent even dyed my hair.  I stay true to my morals even still but it has been a dangerous game sometimes continues to be.  It never feels good the next day anyway.  Girls, you never FEEL better after you made out with 4 people last night.  Just don't be dumb.  Take care of yourselves. 

Now as a 23 year old.  I am smarter.  I made those mistakes as I feel almost every college kid has.  I don't know why we insist to go through all that but it just happens.  Despite it all I grew up and that's what you do when you go away to college.  However in looking at my past, it's pretty fucked up. 

I work full time and enjoy a nice beer with dinner or sometimes a glass of wine.  I may go out for drink mid-week, but usually just one or two.  On weekends, same.  Nothing like college at all.  I believe I'm doing ok and I have complete control over my future and my actions while drinking.  I kind of got that all out of the way.  I'm definitely NOT preaching abstinence, Just be responsible. 

But alcoholism runs in my family.  It's a dangerous game.  My grandfather once said, "Some people just can't drink"  Like him I suppose, he was an abusive alcoholic for like 20 years and he finaly got help.  Now my family is going through this again, with someone very close to me.  And it's really the hardest thing to deal with, trying to help someone who can't help themselves, lives in denial and just wants the pain to go away.  I truly hope I will never go to alcohol to solve my problems.  I mean I know that now.  How could I ever forget.  Sometimes it does sneak up on you however.  And you become addicted to the substance itself, the taste or for the most park, the effects.  It's terrible to watch someone drown out who they were just to be someone else, to escape whatever they are running from.  It's hurtful to everyone around you much like depression.  So just know, don't let yourself go down that path. 

One should never have to hide their usage, that's a sign of a problem.
Adults/parents should never drink alone at home in the presence of small children
Consuming a depressant, while depressed is a recipe for disaster.
Excessive alcohol consumption has long term effects and while affect your heath and weaken your immune system
Driving under the influence puts you, your passengers and the everyone else at risk.

If your going to drink, have a plan, a limit and you will always come out okay!
Some people/friends gets wasted everytime they drink, don't let them pressue you to make the same mistake.  Just do what makes you confortable and take care of yourself. 
Just be responsible.

Know the consequences and have fun.  Cheers!!

How has alcohol touched your life.  Send me letters to thelovelyalex.e@gmail.com or comment here! I would love to know your thoughts!
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