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Living a life i have not

Maybe it's Glenn Beck's Common Sense and extremist conservative views that have been getting to me lately or the fact that the goverment is running the econonmy down the shitter. Not really sure what's going on these days other than I do the same thing five days a week and I never feel richer (more rich) or better about the money I make because I spend more than I make.

Yes I know this is my fault but it is also the fault of everyone else. I have become one of the many people who is trying to live beyond my means because that's the life I really want. One where I can go out to dinner without breaking into my savings (which doesnt exist), pay my rent with finesse, go shopping without worrying which credit card I'm maxing out. Problem is, I act like I can do these things. We've all been told that there's nothing wrong with a little debt and as I convince myself looking cute and having what want is work the weight in gold or in this case plastic. I convince myself that because I have a job i can work to pay off that btu then I forget that I have $60,000 in students loans to pay... And then I think, I can't live like an old miser at 22, almost 23, now can I? I'm young, I want to live a little. I have never traveled or been on an airplane, I've barely scratched the surface of love, growing up, and maturity, so how am I supposed to be a FINANCE expert at this humble age??

Many of my friends are alot better at saving money that I, but I think that comes as a huge sacrifice. I constantly have new clothes and am complimented on my unique style and range of looks. It also makes me feel good to know I do what I can with what I can sorta afford and look good doing it. And working at the front desk for the Number Two Talent Agency in the world has its perks but I also have to look like a million bucks every single day, hence my new wardrobe purchasing addictions.

So as I wear my new Steve Madden shoes and my new little red plaid dress today I feel good in this and therefore my day is better, BUT I realize im 700 in debt on my credit card because I have many new dresses and shoes. I don't know why I cannot stop shopping. I have never had this problem before. I don't know why now of all times I feel like it's okay to buy everything I want. Before, if it was more than $20 I would never buy it and I would ask myself, do I need this to breathe or sleep or whatever? The answer is always no so I put it back. but lately I just swipe my plastic and pretend I can have everything. Pretend I'm living the life I would one day live, one without debt, buyer remorse or that endless headache of bills.
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