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Showing posts from 2008


my nose is clogged
my vision is fogged
my brain has packed and moved out

what am i to do
i feel like poo
and my emptiness brings doubt.

stocks are crashing
life is flashing
right before my eyes

bring some tonic
relieve the ironic
and tell me nothing dies

but its absurd
to say the word
all is ok

but you are numb
forever dumb
to the truth anyway

we all believe in something
some things, some gods
for now I'll take the badness
and live with madness that is love

reality bites our eyes out
we all love to be blind
to fuck to kill
to pay the bills
we all get ours in time.

this is not depressions words
more like cynicism and wit
for more alone that i have known
is myself and my gifts

where are you now
o good one
when we all feel relapse
vote for the good ones
if there's good ones
don't settle
don't settle
don't settle
unless you're restless
stand up yourself and make a fucking change
and stop crying about the problems
that keep us so derranged

I'm there too

if only i can be
where i wish
where i sing
if only you were here with me

one day things will unfold
and well dance until we are old
and only i will know
every little dream you've had
and you'll be mine
bringing me to the sky

and every sunrise and every sunset
is shared, the days are long
and for what i might have seem unprepared
I am ready for the love you give
who shares with me the life you live
and i now i know what you mean to me
i now long for this life
for this life
for this life
for the life when you are here
am I'm there too
I'm there too

There is something shining in my soul
where the birds are singing
and somehow you make me whole
for the love
and the change
for all my life will rearrange
for this love i have for you.

Can it be
this girl
who was so afraid to feel
let it go, and its shows
how my love for you is real

and every sunrise and every sunset
is shared, the days are long
and for what i might have seem unprepared
I am ready for the love you give
who shares with me the life you live
and i now…

bits and pieces

I opened up my eyes
to unfortunately know it's true
my dream was only a dream
the dream was of you.

And in it you were here
lying by my side
but as I awoke
it was not were you would reside

It saddens me to know
you are not near but far
searching through your soul
finding who you are.

While I may already know
where why and when
to me the earth speaks
tomorrow today and then.

Underneath the fear
of losing you to them
I can only hope to be
a lasting and true friend.

Flowers are blooming
and in my heart is love
why were you here once
and suddenly now
a memory of

how I once knew myself
and you
finally not just one
a pair
finally two.

And as our distance brings me to pieces
I am whole in a new way.
to love myself and you again
for forever and a day.


I am graduating from college on Saturday May 10, 2008

I cannot believe it.

Then I am doing a performance at the Odyssey Theater in Los Angeles.

Then I am moving to Brentwood.

Then I start a new job.

Then my sister gets married.

Crazy, life is...

The Water

The WaterFor some, water is cleansing and pure. For others it’s a murky mess and something vast and turbulent, much like the oceans of the Pacific. My whole life I have never been a good swimmer. In fact I never really learned to swim and kind of got by. Until this summer I had never dove into the deep end in a pool. I felt powerful knowing the water didn’t get me and I was alright. Being thrown from the high-dive when I was five by my swim teacher, sent me into a water-fearing frenzy for the rest of my childhood days. Now at twenty I like to think I’ve left some of my childish quirks behind.As that child, I was baptized on October 26, 1986; it was my first cleansing since leaving the womb and blessed by the water that saved my soul.I find that pools of water like lakes, river, and pools don’t frighten me at all. It’s the oceans that keep me scared because they are so powerful and large. You cannot predict what it will do and it takes lives all the time. My mom almost drowned in the o…

White :: Yellow

white and yellow
white and yellow
summer and a day
searching lights are finding me
and i wish them away.

I remember days when I was young
little things where important, i was dumb.
I saw into things that have no might
a look back, yes mother was right.

I see the past, a girl with dreams.
seeking someone, something
to hold her and tell her
everything is fine
while others laugh and play
and hold hands all day

the girl alone at home
dream after dream
sleep after sleep
let the thoughts overtake
and give the life she pretendt
to endure.

When I think of those days
I don't know where I was
I wasn't here
I am not there
So what am I today?
Am I the same girl?
A child with large eyes, confused
or someone more informed
someone more enthused
for the life I now own.

But what do I own
my bed?
What is mine?
My soul.
My heart.
My voice.

Do i tell?
I tell
I tell you the truth.
Nothing tastes better
than honey
from the lips who spoke

White and yellow
White and yellow
the color of friendship flowers
I can tell I have changed in…

My Favorite Things

This time of year, Spring time, as it is yet approaching, is a time in which everyone is thinking of a thinner body, a darker tan and vacations. I however am battling with finishing my Theater Arts degree at Loyola Marymount University, graduation and my older sister's wedding 21 days later. But in an effort to be part of the season this blog is dedicated to my favorites in products and food!! So enjoy!!

In no particular order...
Wine::Yellow Tail: Shiraz:: yes the yellow bottle!! This wine, passed down to me from my mother, has become quite a favorite of mine. Usually ranging from $4.99 to $7.99 in most stores this red is wonderful with dinner or dessert like a piece of Trader Joe's 73% cocao dark chocolate or Skinny Cow. It has a full body and nice deep taste, no too tart and not too sweet is officialy my favorite and a constant on my shelf!Restaurant:: The Warehouse:: In Marina Del Rey off of admiralty right along a great view of boats, this fine restaurant provides a wo…

Monarch of the Sea

Hello everyone!!

I just wanted to share with everyone my Spring Break Plans! I just got back from a cruise with Royal Carribbean! It was one of the best experiences ever! I have to say that the food was spectacular, the sun; nice and hot, the group was fun and awesome and Mexico was amazing!

I left the country for the first time and went to Ensenada. It was our last stop of the cruise and even having grown up in San Diego, as close as you can get, I had the best fish tacos I have ever tasted. The beer was cheep and oooh so wonderful! La Bufadora (the famous Blowhole) blew me away and I got to see a beautiful view!! Catalina was nice too. We went on a hike and played mini golf, which might I add, was f-ing awesome. I came in last place, but whatever! The trip was totally affordable for the most part. The beers were good, pina coladas and margeritas, even karaoke. I played a little blackjack, a little basketball, watched the ocean, spent time in a spa and even had time to cudd…

The Troubadour

So I decided that my favorite venue, that I have been to, San Diego or LA so far, is the Troubadour!!!

Last night I went with my boyfriend to the Emery -- As Cities Burn --Mayday Parade -- Pierce the Veil show and it rocked!! I loved the venue and the vibe from the whole place. During set changes we went to the VIP lounge (21 and uppers, woot!) upstairs where there are comfortable seats and chairs, a charming bartender and the ability to see downstairs at the set if you so choose to stay upstairs during the concert. There are two more bars downstairs with $7 import beers and $10 shots like jager bombs!! A little pricy but worth it because the venue is so cool.

Standing so close to the band, Emery was at my fingertips. In their set, one of their singers (screamers) literally was standing on top of the crowd and singing, the crowd was holding him up in the air on his two feet and then was safely ushers over us all back to the stage. It was amazing. Everyone was singing along. I…

Samuel French

I am in the process of starting my acting or how do you say, entertainment career!! I have wishes to be in a band, sing and write songs, or you know, be a famous actress, not for the fame necessarily but for the opportunity to actually act, which has become a passion of mine. So much of my life has been filled with drama, why not do it as a profession~! So I know there is some hint of sarcasm here, but what am I supposed to do here, gotta get through the day and have a sense of humor!!

SO! I'm taking a trip to the Samuel French store on yes, SUNSET BLVD. I feel cool just saying that. But I do live in Los Angeles and I never really have gone gallivanting around LA! I need to explore, go around and see whats out there. A navigator would help, seriously, it would help. I tend to second guess myself and then I get lost. HA!

So, I am going to Samuel French to research plays for my Career Development class. I need to find obscure plays so that the showcase will go on with fun uniq…